Grief can really be debilitating. You might think that everything is over and that there is no purpose to anything. But you are still there, and you need to take care of yourself. As a way of coping with grief and loss, eat healthy meals, sleep on a regular basis, and try to move as much as you can (exercise, hike, swim...).
If your children want to know about death, tell them, and try not lying to them. They are curious to know something that has been unknown to them, and it is for the best that you, in the best way possible, tell them the truth. Because, for instance, when you say that you have lost your husband, they might think that he should be found or that he should come back.
Try explaining death to them in 'child terms', so that they can understand.
No matter what others think about crying, cry if you want to as it's the bet way of coping with grief and loss. Let it all out. It will help you let it go emotionally and physically.
Don't allow others to have an influence on you and tell you how you should feel and behave. Crying is completely normal.
If you are not sure how to cope with grief, the answer is simple, ask for help. In such a difficult moment, it is very important to be with someone. You should try and lean on the ones that love you and care for you. You don't need to maintain the appearance of somebody who is strong; you are allowed to feel grief like everybody else.
Sometimes people don't understand the grief symptoms and don't know how to help you with dealing with it and may say some wrong things, but don't be angry at them - simply tell them what you want and need and help them understand you.
Do not try to avoid your feelings, or ignore them. They won't get away just by ingoring them. You need to acknowledge your feelings, because unresolved grief can lead to many psychological and health complications and complicated grief treatment.
If you feel that you are going through any of the phases of grief or the stages of grief after a breakup, try buying the How to Survive the Loss of a Love book. This book might help you understand your feelings and teach you how to ease your pain.
As a way of dealing with grief, it is very important not to keep the emotions inside. If you don't feel like talking to anybody, try writing something in your journal, or making a tribute to the person/pet/thing you have lost. Sculpt something; write something; paint something; compose a song. There are so many creative ways in which you can express yourself.
If you are not sure how to handle grief, try understanding the reason for it. Even though it might seem it will never end, grief does end at some point. Or it becomes easier to come to terms with it. But first you need to understand what exactly you are going through.
You should be going through roughly five stages:
Af first, you are in denial and can't accept what has happened. Then you are angry because it happened. Later on, you begin having thoughts like, "If I'd done that, it would have been different," and it follows a lot of 'what ifs'. Then you fall into depression. And the final stage is accepting that something has happened.
But you shouldn't be too much worried about the length of each one. It varies a lot, so don't be concerned with that.
Here is the page that will explain to you more thoroughly what you are going through, stage by stage.
You might come across people who think that only crying and screaming (common grief symptoms) means that you are sad and grieving. But people can also grieve withut shedding a tear. It all depends on a person.
Also, you can't decide when you can stop grieving, since that is not even a choice; it's a process. So, don't let other's opinion on when you should stop grieving get to you.
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