Anxiety (Social anxiety)

Focus outwards. Socializing is about focusing on another person, the outward thinking, showing an interest in the things about that person. People love to be noticed, so when you start to take an interest in them they will naturally be warm to you.

You also tend  to miss a lot of other things around when focusing too much on yourself and your feelings. That might be something that could become an interesting point of conversation, or some clues about how that situation works.

Self-help manuals are usually intended to supplement therapy, but they can also be helpful if you are trying to overcome social anxiety on your own. Here are some good books that might help you in fighting your social anxiety.

• http://www.amazon.com/Managing-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Edition/dp/0195336690
• http://www.amazon.com/Social-Anxiety-Ultimate-Overcoming-Situations/dp/1518730485
• http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step-/dp/1572245530
• http://www.amazon.com/Diagonally-Parked-Parallel-Universe-Working-Through-ebook/dp/B00BVBOMWO

An exposure hierarchy is a list of situations that make you anxious, written in order of severity. First, you perform the situations that are the easiest, and gradually move up the list. Create your own exposure hierarchy by listing 10 anxiety-inducing situations, and rate them on a 100-point scale.

You can find more information insights about this technique in this document.

You might start you list with a situation when you ask a stranger for directions and end it with joining Toastmasters.

It’s important to focus less on yourself, be more open and spontaneous in order for social situation to work well. In other words, to be more relaxed in those situations.

Some people find that it is helpful to listen to a calming relaxation session before a social event.

This article contains a few good tips on how to be more spontaneous.

Try self-hypnosis. Use your imagination to try out new ideas and rehearse for the real thing in a calm relaxed state of mind. You have probably already experienced self-hypnosis by attending social events in your mind, saying the right things to the right people, and getting the right responses.

It doesn’t matter how the audience received your idea. What only matters is that you spoke up. It doesn’t matter whether a person accepted your dinner invite. What matters is that you asked.

We cannot control what other people are thinking, but you did what you wanted to do in that situation. 

Worrying is self-programming. When you worry about future social situations you are  linking anxiety to them. And when you actually go into these situations, you get anxious, since you have programmed yourself.

Think about the upcoming gathering while being relaxed – sitting in a chair or taking a warm bath. Imagine yourself in the social situation looking confident and relaxed. Do this repeatedly and your body and mind will create a new automatic association to these situations.

Once we express externally the voices in our head that seem insane, we often see the lack of reason and logic that we have been submerged into. We are forced to confront the mirror of our internal dialogue.

By externalizing our voices we stop holding things in, and start to create a conversational flow and feel more comfortable when we open up to others.

Practicing mindfulness will help you focus your thoughts on present and avoid the anticipation of what might happen and what you will have to do with it - typical focus of anxious thoughts.

Mindfulness technique is based on observing the anxious thoughts from a detached perspective, without judgement, and then letting them go. Do not fight, ignore, or try control these thoughts.

Therefore, to get rid of anxiety you need to be mindfully anxious. In that way anxiety will reveal itself to be a misperception and its symptoms will disappear.

This blog post contains more details on mindfulness techniques.

Audio instructions on mindfulness exercises can be found here.

In order to cope with the anxiety you need to realize the difference between the real risks that you will face and the ones created by your imagination which aggravate the anxiety. You have to try to control the things you can deal with and accept those you cannot change. 

1. Determine if the problem is real rather than imaginary.
2. If your concern is imaginary, determine how likely is it to happen. Is it realistic?
3. Can you prepare for the problem somehow or it cannot be controlled?

This will help in adequate estimation of your resources for coping with stressful situations.

Even if you simply analyze the problem, you get distracted from your emotions and feel like you’re getting something accomplished.

Serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with happiness and relaxation, is derived from tryptophan. Serotonin helps feel calm and overcome stress. Food that contains tryptophan includes bananas, milk, yoghurt, cottage cheese, turkey, chicken, oats, cheese, soy, nuts, peanut butter, dried dates, sesame seeds and pumpkin sees. However there are doubts whether tryptophan derived from food can cross the blood-brain barrier, so the effect will not be very powerful.

Carbohydrates are responsible for increased production of serotonin in the brain. However, make sure you do not consume processed options such as sugary foods and drinks or white bread and white rice. Eat whole grains, which take longer to break down so that the sugar is slowly released into the bloodstream. Processed carbohydrates will provide fast increase in energy, followed by an insulin rush, which rapidly drops blood sugar levels, and eventually cause sleepiness.

Protein promotes  the production of norepinephrine and dopamine neurotransmitters that function similarly to serotonin. According to studies, high concentrations of norepinephrine and dopamine improve alertness, mental energy, and reaction time. Good amounts of proteins are contained in Greek yogurt, fish, meats, cheese, eggs, nuts, beans, soy, and lentils.

Some people may be susceptible to depression due to a deficiency in vitamins B such as folic acid and B12 (cyanocobalamin). You can choose to take vitamin B supplements or eat foods that are rich in B vitamins to beat off anxiety.

Note that folic acid is the synthetic form of the vitamin B9. The body is more used to using folate. Good sources of folate are dark leafy greens (like spinach, turnip greens, mustard greens), asparagus, broccoli, citrus fruits, beans, avocado, okra, Brussels sprout, seeds and nuts, beets, corn, celery, carrots, squash. Folate is also contained in beef liver, lean meats, poultry, seafood.

Some of the folic acid supplements that can be bought on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Foods-Folic-Acid-800mcg-Tablets/dp/B0009U84Z4

http://www.amazon.com/Folic-Acid-1000-mcg-Tabs/dp/B004KWI2SG

http://www.amazon.com/Solgar-Folate-800-Metafolin-Tablets/dp/B001LR2RVQ

Foods richest in vitamin B12 include seafood (fish, clam, crab), beef liver, red meat (beef), fortified soy products (silken tofu), fortified cereals, low fat dairy (skim milk), Swiss cheese and eggs.

Examples B12 supplements:

http://www.amazon.com/Jarrow-Formulas-Methylcobalamin-5000mcg-Lozenges/dp/B0013OQGO6

http://www.amazon.com/Now-Foods-B-12-2000mcg-100-Count/dp/B001QNPWGM

http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Made-Vitamin-Release-Tablets/dp/B005DXM32M

Postponing technique is designed to help you feel more in control of your worries and put you back on track. This technique includes the following steps:

• Agree to recognize your fears.
• Choose specific time and place to worry. Save the worries for later and enjoy the rest of your day.
• Postpone your worries. Once that worry period arrives, allow yourself to worry or  postpone the worries to another specific time.  Whenever possible, choose to postpone. As you improve your ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll will break your habit of dwelling on worrying without suppressing your thoughts.

You can find more details on postponing here.

Exercise is particularly beneficial for easing anxiety. Exercise decreases the levels of stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, and promotes the production of endorphins.

It also improves the activity of the serotonergic system, and therefore may be helpful in dealing with anxiety. 

Additionally, exercise raises your core temperature which leads to simultaneous decrease in the muscle tension, so the sense of anxiety is alleviated. You can take a walk, do some running, rowing, rollerblading, hiking, biking, dancing, swimming, surfing, step aerobics, kickboxing and sports such as soccer, tennis and basketball.

Instead of thinking negatively, think more positive, e.g. by feed your brain with positive statements, like: 

• I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational.  I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.
• Anxiety is not dangerous - it’s just uncomfortable.
• I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.

More examples of such statements can be found here.

Engaging in enjoyable activities helps to pacify your anxiety. Do things that you love and follow your bliss. You can take a walk, listen to music or read a book. 

A list of 12 good books for reading during anxiety breakouts that helped the author of this post.

Read any of the insightful books on how to cure stress and anxiety from the list on this website.

If you are getting anxious, accept it. Do not try to struggle and hold back the symptoms of anxiety. 

This may seem illogical, but anxiety itself is not the real problem. The real problem is that we try to control and get rid of it. If you fight against your anxious symptoms, your heartbeat will increase, your palms will become sweaty, your stomach will become tense, you will feel dizzy and lightheaded. 

When you notice these signs, tell yourself that it is okay to feel the things that you feel, that you expect yourself to be nervous right now, and that you can deal with this. Try to believe these statements, not just repeat them.

A study compared levels of the amino acid GABA in those who does yoga compared to those who do an equivalent amount of walking. GABA is needed for functioning of brain and creates feeling of calm, and low levels of this amino acid is linked to anxiety. It has been found that GABA levels were significantly higher in those who practised yoga.

However, don't push yourself beyond limits. Remember that yoga may even induce anxiety instead of curing it, if you overexert yourself.

This list contains yoga poses that are beneficial during anxiety.

See the following video that shows how to relieve anxiety with yoga.

Meditate inside or outside, any time. Start by noticing how you breathe in and out. Or you can count your breaths to 10, and then begin again. Start by doing two minutes of meditation daily.

You can find more meditation techniques here.

Know who to talk to about your anxiety. Some people will feed on your worries, doubts, and fears, while others will help you gain perspective.

Chamomile tea might help in calming you down. Some compounds in chamomile affect  the same brain receptors as drugs like Valium.

You can also take supplements containing apigenin (active ingredient) or dried chamomile flowers. According to studies there is a significant decrease in anxiety for the patients who took chamomile supplements for 8 weeks compared to placebo-takers. 

Few examples of chamomile supplements can be found here:

http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Way-Chamomile-60-Capsules/dp/B00014GAF4

http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Way-Chamomile-Flowers-Capsules/dp/B0006U3QJQ

When anxiety attacks, you may experience a mindset called "catastrophic thinking" or "catastrophizing." You think of really terrible, unbearable things and what if they really happen.

Take a few deep breaths, take a walk and consider the real chances that this problem will really turn into catastrophe. Most probably, a catastrophic outcome is less likely than you think when you're anxious.

According to research, heating up your body reduces muscle tension and anxiety. Mood-controlling neural circuits, including those that affect serotonin, may be altered by sensations of warmth.

You can lie in the sun on a beach, grab a few minutes of sauna or spa, sit in a hot bath or Jacuzzi, or curl up by a fire with a cup of tea.

Japanese researchers found that those who took a walk in the forest had lower levels of stress hormone after their walk than they did after a comparable walk in an urban area.

Studies show that L-theanine, amino acid, contained in green tea, helps reduce a rising heart rate and high blood pressure, and a few found that it reduces anxiety. In one study, anxiety-prone subjects were calmer and more focused during a test if they took 200 milligrams of L-theanine. This amount of L-theanine can be obtained from green tea, but you'll have to drink 5-20 cups.

For example, check out this L-Theanine supplement

If you seek immediate relief, take a medication. This list contains various medications, including Valium, Ativan etc. that can help you with your anxiety.

There are no over the counter medications against anxiety, so please consult with your doctor.