After the grieving period, don’t think about your ex. Remove things from the house if they remind you of him or her. Erase your ex’s telephone number from your mobile phone and delete all emails. It’s over, and it’s time to move on.
Breaking up and feeling terrible afterwards is nothing unusual. Billions of people have had this experience before, and it’s one of the most common causes of emotional pain.
So remember two things: (1) you are not alone and (2) breaking up is a natural part of human life.
Part of your “relationship life” took a hit. The solution? Take care of your other relationships. Spend time with family or friends and plan enjoyable activities with them ahead of time (especially on weekends).
No matter how bad you feel now, it will go away eventually. While knowing this may not reduce the pain directly, it may give you strength during the “shitty phase.”
You’ve taken a punch, and now it’s time to take care of yourself. Do something you want to do: watch a movie, read a good book, exercise (!), start a new hobby, buy the cool gadget you’ve always wanted, etc.
It’s okay to feel sad. Cry, sob, and lick your wounds. However, after a couple of weeks or so, pull yourself together. Look to the future; don’t cling to the past.
Imagine what might have happened if you didn’t break up, but instead had got married, had kids, and then discovered things wouldn’t work out. What a mess that would have been. It’s better to set switch lanes now, even though it hurts.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” This saying has proven to be entirely true for me. Gathering new experiences is crucial for personal growth, although the process may not always be pleasant.
Allow yourself some time for grieving. Don’t starting dating immediately after the break-up, or you’ll risk trying to replace your former boy- or girlfriend with someone else. This rarely works and it will make your new partner unhappy. Take your time, and you will be dating again soon enough.
Sometimes we tend to channel our negative feelings in one direction, making them even more painful. A break-up provides a tempting invitation to do this, but don’t. If you feel bad, the break-up may not be the only reason. Make a plan for how to tackle the other areas you need to work on (e.g., identify your purpose in life, find a fulfilling job, etc.).
Putting your thoughts down on paper can help. I’ve followed the recommendation to write a letter to my ex, but not send it. This gave me a lot of relief.
A break-up allows you to take a fresh look at your life and to kick habits that previously held you back. It’s a new beginning, with great opportunities and new loving relationships waiting you!
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